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Have you ever noticed that when you tell someone you're having a veggie burger, they suddenly become a nutritionist? "Oh, you're not getting enough protein!" they say, as if they've just earned a PhD in vegetable science.
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I tried to grill a veggie burger at a family barbecue once. My uncle looked at it and said, "Is this a practical joke?" I mean, it's like bringing a kale salad to a pizza party. It just doesn't compute.
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You know you're in a hipster restaurant when the waiter says, "Our burgers are plant-based," and you think, "Wait, aren't all veggies plant-based? Or did I miss the memo where cucumbers became carnivores?
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Have you ever noticed how veggie burgers are like the undercover detectives of the food world? They're trying so hard to fit in with the regular burgers, but you take one bite and think, "Something's not quite right here.
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I tried to make a veggie burger at home, and it crumbled faster than my New Year's resolutions. I mean, why do they always fall apart? Is it a metaphor for my life choices?
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You know what's confusing? When you order a veggie burger, and it's shaped like a perfect circle. I mean, did they use a mold? Are they trying to mimic a meat patty or a UFO?
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I went to a barbecue last weekend, and someone handed me a veggie burger. I said, "Oh, is this a new type of frisbee?" I mean, they look so similar; sometimes I can't tell if I'm supposed to eat it or toss it.
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I went to a fast-food joint and saw they had a veggie burger on the menu. I thought, "Wow, they're trying to be healthy!" Then I realized they also sell fried chicken, and I thought, "Well, that's like having a gym next to a donut shop.
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They say veggie burgers are the future. But every time I bite into one, I feel like I'm taking a trip back in time to the garden of Eden. You know, where Adam and Eve probably said, "Let's try something other than apples this time.
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