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Why did the computer send a Valentine? It couldn't resist its byte-sized crush!
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What did one French toast say to the other on Valentine's Day? 'You make my heart go 'melt'!
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Why did the Valentine's Day card apply for a loan? It wanted to raise its interest!
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Why did the Valentine card apply for a job? It wanted to work in the 'heart' department!
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Why did the smartphone break up with its charger on Valentine's Day? It needed space!
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What did the boy candy say to the girl candy? 'You're sweet enough for me!
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You know you're single on Valentine's Day when your mailbox has more cobwebs than love letters. I tried sending myself a card once, but even that got returned for lack of postage – turns out, self-love comes at a price!
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I asked my date what she wanted for Valentine's Day, and she said, 'Surprise me!' So, I showed up with a singing telegram dressed as a gorilla. Apparently, that wasn't the surprise she had in mind. Who knew gorillas weren't synonymous with romance?
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Valentine's Day is like a romantic episode of 'Survivor.' You're trying to avoid being voted off the island of love. Roses are immunity idols, and chocolate is the hidden advantage. The only tribal council I want involves candles and a table for two.
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Valentine's Day gift-giving is a high-stakes game. I once got my partner a 'self-improvement' book. Turns out, 'How to Fix Your Partner in 30 Days' wasn't the uplifting read she had in mind. Who knew love wasn't something you could fix with a step-by-step guide?
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Valentine's Day is like a pop quiz for relationships. If you forget it, it's not just a red flag; it's a full-blown firework display of relationship doom. I'm here thinking, can't we just have a cheat day like we do with diets?
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Valentine's Day expectations are like setting yourself up for disappointment on sale. It's like thinking you're getting a luxury cruise, but when you board, it's just a dinghy with a heart-shaped paddle. Love floats, right?
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Valentine's Day cards are just a way for greeting card companies to make you feel guilty for not expressing your love through a $5 piece of folded paper. If I wanted to spend money on expressing emotions, I'd buy a mood ring – at least that changes color.
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Valentine's Day, or as I like to call it, the annual reminder that my relationship status has more updates than my software. If only love came with a 'bug fix' patch!
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Valentine's Day is the one day a year when everyone becomes a poet. I tried my hand at writing a love poem, but it turned out more like a grocery list. Roses are red, violets are blue, here's a coupon for 10% off at the local supermarket – love, me.
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