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The Undecided Voter
Trying to make a decision when both options seem equally questionable
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Both candidates claim to be champions of truth, but it feels more like a game of "Two Truths and a Lie." Can we get a fact-checker on stage during the next debate? Maybe a buzzer for every time they stretch the truth?
The Speechwriter
Turning boring policy into engaging speeches
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Trying to make climate change sound exciting is a challenge. I suggested, "Let's frame it as the ultimate reality show – 'Survivor: Earth Edition.' Spoiler alert: We all need to start working together to avoid being voted off the planet.
The Conspiracy Theorist
Finding hidden meanings in campaign slogans
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The candidate talks about transparency, but have you ever tried to see through a politician? It's like trying to read the ingredients on a shampoo bottle in the shower – impossible!
The Election Pollster
Making sense of unpredictable voter behavior
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We asked voters if they preferred a candidate with experience or someone new. The result? "We want someone with experience, but also, someone who's not a dinosaur." I guess voters are looking for a seasoned, tech-savvy T-Rex to lead the country.
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