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I told my unkempt friend to tidy up his diet. Now he eats cereal straight from the box – one step closer to cleanliness!
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Why did the unkempt broom break up with the vacuum? It said, 'I need space to sweep around!
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I used to date an unkempt calendar, but we broke up. It couldn't handle commitment – always changing its dates!
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I asked the unkempt mirror for fashion advice. It said, 'Reflect on your choices, but don't expect me to look any better!
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What did the unkempt sandwich say during the picnic? 'Lettuce romaine unkempt and spread joy!
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I accidentally stepped on an unkempt rake. It really knows how to leave an impression – on my foot!
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Why did the unkempt chef become a gardener? He wanted to let his parsley grow freely!
The Tale of Uncle Bob's Beard
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You ever see someone so unkempt, you're not sure if they're auditioning for a lumberjack role or just lost their razor?
Barber's Nightmare
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Walked into a barbershop, saw a dude so unkempt, the barber asked him, You want a haircut or should we just call a landscaper?
The Great Outdoors
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I went camping last weekend and looked so unkempt, a bear approached me thinking I was a distant relative.
Morning Hair, Don't Care!
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I woke up this morning looking so unkempt; even my bedhead was considering filing for separation!
The Mystery of the Couch Potato
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My buddy's apartment is so unkempt; I once lost a sandwich and found it three weeks later. Still debating if I should eat it.
Beach Body Unready
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I tried to go to the beach, but with this unkempt look, people thought I was a new species of seaweed.
Food for Thought
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Went to a buffet, looked so unkempt, they tried charging me extra because they thought I was smuggling in a second person.
Lost in the Wild
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Saw a guy so unkempt, I thought he was a missing contestant from Survivor who just gave up halfway through.
Laundromat Chronicles
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I did laundry last night, but when I came out, I looked so unkempt, even the washing machine gave me a dirty look.
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