17 Jokes About Tourists

Puns

Updated on: Aug 17 2025

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Why did the tourist bring a pencil to the Grand Canyon? To draw a stunning conclusion!
Why did the tourist bring a broom to the beach? He wanted to sweep away the tide!
Why did the tourist bring a ladder to the hotel? Because he heard the rooms were up-and-coming!
What do you call a tourist who always knows where they're going? A myth!
What do you call a tourist who always takes the scenic route? A pathfinder!
What do you call a tourist who's also a musician? A wanderer with a good sense of 'travel' time!
I told a tourist he could stand under a tree during a rainstorm to stay dry. He asked, 'How do I get under the tree?

Souvenir Hoarding

Tourists and souvenirs – they're like magpies, attracted to anything shiny and tacky. I've seen people buy miniature versions of landmarks they just visited, as if they forgot what the actual thing looked like. It's the only time you'll see someone proudly displaying a miniature Statue of Liberty next to their collection of snow globes.

Umbrella Uproar

Tourists and umbrellas – a weapon of mass annoyance. It's like they're preparing for a sudden monsoon in the middle of a sunny day. Walking through a sea of open umbrellas is like navigating a minefield, except the mines are covered in floral patterns.

Snapchat Struggles

Tourists and Snapchat filters – because nothing says I'm on vacation like turning yourself into an animated bunny with rainbow ears while standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. It's like they're in a competition to see who can make their travel photos the least recognizable.

Lost in Translation

Tourists and language barriers go together like peanut butter and... well, anything that doesn't belong with peanut butter. They confidently approach locals and attempt to speak the native language, but it often ends up sounding like a malfunctioning GPS. Excuse me, can you tell me where the 'fountain of youth' is? Sure, just take a left at the confused expressions.

Tourist Tango

Have you ever noticed how tourists move in a pack, like a herd of lost sheep? It's like a synchronized dance, the Tourist Tango. They walk in single file, blocking the entire sidewalk, forcing the locals to join in the dance by zigzagging through them. I swear, I've mastered the tourist dodge better than any professional athlete.

Fanny Pack Fashion Show

Tourists and fanny packs, the timeless accessory that says, I'm here to see the world, and I've got snacks. It's like a mobile vending machine strapped to their stomachs. I've seen fanny packs in colors that aren't even on the visible spectrum – fashion choices that make you question the laws of physics.

Currency Confusion

Tourists and foreign currency – it's a comedy of errors at the cash register. I've seen people try to pay for a coffee with a currency that hasn't been in circulation since the 1800s. The cashier's face is the real exchange rate – a mix of confusion and pity.

Map or Maze?

Tourists and their maps, it's like they're on a quest to find the hidden treasure of the city. They unfold those enormous paper maps, blocking traffic, and suddenly it's a game of 'Avoid the Lost Explorer.' I half-expect them to discover a secret passage to Narnia right in the middle of Times Square.

Selfie Stick Circus

Tourists and their selfie sticks – it's like a one-person circus wherever they go. You can't walk through a famous landmark without dodging these extendable metal arms, like you're in some bizarre low-budget action movie, Attack of the Selfie Sticks. I'm just waiting for the day someone accidentally pokes an ancient statue and starts an international incident.

The Sunscreen Struggle

Tourists and sunscreen – it's a love-hate relationship. They either bathe in it like they're auditioning for a role in a sci-fi movie or end up looking like a lobster because they forgot the sunscreen altogether. I've seen more sunburns than a lifeguard during a solar eclipse.

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