bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. I guess I just kneaded more experience!
0
0
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
0
0
Why don't we ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it!
Tech Support Woes
0
0
I called tech support the other day, and they asked if I tried turning it off and on again. I'm like, Lady, I'm 35 years old – that's been my life strategy since kindergarten. If only rebooting myself could solve all my problems. I'd be the Elon Musk of personal development.
Social Media Sorcery
0
0
You ever notice how on social media, everyone's life looks like a fairy tale? People post pictures of their avocado toast like it's the pinnacle of culinary achievement. Meanwhile, my toast looks at me like, You're not even going to butter me, are you? I need a filter for my breakfast choices.
Parenting 101
0
0
Parenting is like being a stand-up comedian, but the audience is way tougher. You tell them the same joke a hundred times, and instead of laughing, they just stare at you like, Really? Again? I've become a master at the art of dad jokes – because nothing says I love you like a well-timed pun.
Supermarket Safari
0
0
Grocery shopping is my cardio. I navigate through aisles like I'm on a wild safari, dodging kids riding shopping carts like they're go-karts. And then there's the produce section – where vegetables mock you for not having your life together. Look at Mr. Avocado over here, living his best life. What's your excuse, potato?
Pet Paranoia
0
0
I got a pet parrot because I thought it would be fun. Now, every time someone knocks on the door, the parrot yells, Who's there? like we're in a Shakespearean play. I'm just waiting for it to start reciting my embarrassing moments – To tweet or not to tweet, that is the question.
The Great Diet Rebellion
0
0
You know, I tried this new diet where you only eat what your food eats. So now I'm just sitting in the backyard, munching on grass, trying to bond with my salad. Turns out, my salad's got commitment issues. It's not you, it's me – and my inability to photosynthesize.
Lost in Translation
0
0
I recently decided to learn a new language to impress people. I picked Klingon because, you know, why not? But now, every time I try to order coffee, the barista looks at me like I just asked for a cup of unicorn tears. I think I ordered a latte, but I might have accidentally declared war on the barista.
Email Etiquette
0
0
I tried using proper email etiquette, you know, with formalities and signatures. But then I realized, I've been signing emails with Best regards for years, and I've never felt less regarded. It's like sending a message in a bottle, but the bottle has an unsubscribe button.
Self-Help Paradox
0
0
I bought a self-help book that promised to change my life. The first chapter said, Believe in yourself, and I thought, Well, that's the problem – I bought the book to get some belief. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe there's a sequel that teaches self-help books how to be more helpful.
GPS Struggles
0
0
I got a GPS to help me find my way, but I swear, that thing has a sarcastic mode. It's like, In 500 feet, make a U-turn, genius. I'm just waiting for it to start judging my life choices. Considering your decisions so far, are you sure you want to go to the grocery store again?
Post a Comment