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Netflix Series Spoiler Alert
Trying to navigate social situations without revealing any spoilers from popular Netflix series
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I have a sign around my neck that says, "Ask me about anything, but not about the latest episode of that show you're binge-watching." It's the only way I survive social gatherings.
Professional Procrastinator
Juggling the art of delaying tasks while appearing productive
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My resume says I'm a "Strategic Time Management Consultant." Translation: I'm the reason your project is always a day away from the deadline.
Pet Psychic
Deciphering the deep thoughts of pets while trying to maintain a straight face
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My job is to tell people what their pets are really thinking. Spoiler alert: it's usually "feed me" or "let me sleep on your bed." Groundbreaking, I know.
Office Coffee Maker Repair Guy
The struggle of fixing coffee makers in a caffeine-deprived office
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I'm the only guy who gets called a hero for bringing a coffee maker back to life. Forget firefighters; I'm the one saving offices from a complete shutdown.
Professional Protagonist
Living in a world where everything feels like the climax of an epic story
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Being a Professional Protagonist has its drawbacks. I accidentally narrated a date once. Let's just say, romantic music playing in my head doesn't always match the awkward silence in reality.
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