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Why did the comedian go to WebMD? He wanted to find the 'punch-line' for his illness!
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I asked WebMD about my love life. It said, 'You're suffering from romantitis!
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Why did the tomato turn to WebMD? It had too many 'sauce-picious' symptoms!
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I tried to diagnose my cat on WebMD. Now he won't stop giving me the 'purr-spective' on life!
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I checked WebMD to see if I have a reading addiction. It said, 'You're in-text-icated!
WebMD, the Oracle of Overreacting
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You know you're in trouble when your WebMD search history starts to look like a screenplay for a medical soap opera. The Chronicles of the Panicking Patient. It's got drama, suspense, and a plot twist that ends with you self-prescribing vitamins and wondering if you should add 'medical screenplay writer' to your LinkedIn profile.
WebMD, the Gateway Drug to Doctor Avoidance
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Why visit a doctor when you can consult the oracle of WebMD from the comfort of your bed? It's like having a medical professional on standby, minus the co-pay. Sure, my doctor might have a degree, but does he have the ability to make my common cold sound like a scene from Grey's Anatomy? I think not.
WebMD, the Doctor We All Secretly Hate
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You ever find yourself on WebMD? Oh, it's like entering a virtual rabbit hole of impending doom. You type in a symptom, and suddenly, you've convinced yourself you're a rare species of ailing giraffe with a side of alien invasion. Next thing you know, you're ordering bulk-sized bandaids and alien repellent on Amazon. Thanks, WebMD, for turning my common cold into a blockbuster movie.
WebMD, the Relationship Destroyer
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Couples, beware! WebMD should come with a relationship advisory. One innocent search about a headache, and suddenly you and your partner are arguing over who's responsible for the imaginary brain tumor. WebMD: creating relationship conflict one symptom at a time.
WebMD, Where Google Feels Neglected
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Google must be feeling like the neglected older sibling in the search engine family. Oh, you're feeling sick? Let me guess, WebMD again? It's like betraying Google and going for the drama queen of medical websites. If Google could talk, it would probably say, I can give you information, but WebMD gives you a theatrical experience.
WebMD, Where Common Cold Becomes an Epic Saga
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I went on WebMD because I had a sniffle. Next thing I know, I've convinced myself I've contracted a rare cold strain previously found only in the Antarctic penguins. I'm sitting there in my pajamas googling, Do penguins use tissue or just shake it off? Thanks, WebMD, for turning my common cold into a wildlife documentary.
WebMD, Making Health Anxiety Trendy
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Health anxiety used to be a niche thing, but thanks to WebMD, it's now a mainstream hobby. Forget knitting or bird watching; we're all busy diagnosing ourselves with rare diseases and collecting virtual medical trophies. I've got a platinum trophy for convincing myself I had a tropical virus after eating a questionable taco.
WebMD, Where Hypochondriacs Get Their Ph.D.
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I swear, spending 10 minutes on WebMD is equivalent to earning a medical degree in hypochondria. You start off with a minor headache, and before you know it, you're convinced you're the living embodiment of a medical textbook. I'm just waiting for them to offer an online graduation ceremony for all of us who've completed their crash course in imaginary illnesses.
WebMD, the Virtual Health Drama Queen
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If WebMD were a person, it would be the drama queen of the health world. Every symptom is a potential headline, every ache a dramatic monologue. It's like the Meryl Streep of medical websites, turning a simple headache into an Oscar-worthy performance. So, thanks, WebMD, for making us all the leading actors in our own health melodramas.
WebMD, the Fortune Teller of Illness
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I'm convinced WebMD has a crystal ball hidden somewhere. You type in 'fatigue,' and it predicts you'll be bedridden by Friday. It's like having a medical fortune teller, predicting your future ailments with the accuracy of a psychic, minus the calming incense.
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