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My wife said I should embrace my mistakes. So I gave her a hug and said, 'You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
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They said money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream. And that's kind of the same thing.
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They said I should learn to embrace change. So, I started hugging vending machines.
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I told my dog he's not allowed on the couch. He looked at me and thought, 'They said I could be anything, so I became a rebel.
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They said I should have a positive attitude. Now I'm positive I need a new attitude.
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My friend told me I should be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends. People are so supportive.
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