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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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They said I couldn't be a stand-up comedian. Well, nobody's laughing now.
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I told my friend I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. He said, 'I can't put it down.
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.
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They said I was too old to play with toys. So, I bought them a round of drinks and told them I'm action figures collector.
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They said laughter is the best medicine. I guess that's why several of us die laughing every year at the pharmacy.
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