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You ever notice how people with the riches love to humble brag? They're always like, "Oh, you know, I was vacationing on my private island, and my butler accidentally served me the wrong champagne – can you imagine?" I have a friend like that. Every conversation with him is like a journey through his luxury life. I asked him once, "Do you even remember what regular bread tastes like?" He looked at me with pity and said, "Regular bread? Oh, you mean the kind that doesn't come with a personal chef's recommendation?"
So, apparently, when you have the riches, even your bread gets a five-star review.
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You ever notice how people with the riches have this uncanny ability to misplace things? I mean, if I had a dollar for every time a wealthy friend lost their keys in their massive mansion, I'd probably have my own riches by now. I visited this friend who lives in this extravagant mansion, and we spent a good 30 minutes looking for his car keys. We searched the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom – everywhere. Finally, I said, "Maybe you left them in your other mansion?" He just laughed and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that one!"
So, note to self: The riches may buy you a big house, but it won't buy you a GPS for your keys.
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You ever notice how people with the riches have the weirdest shopping habits? I mean, I struggle to decide between generic and brand-name cereal, and they're out there debating which private jet to buy. I was at the mall with a wealthy friend, and he spent an hour in the shoe store trying to choose between two pairs of identical-looking shoes. I asked, "What's the difference?" He said, "One costs $1,000 more. Obviously, it's the superior shoe!"
So, note to self: When you have the riches, decisions become less about need and more about finding new and creative ways to spend money.
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You ever notice how some people throw around the term "the riches" like it's some magical solution to all life's problems? Like, "Oh, if only I had the riches, everything would be perfect!" Well, let me tell you, having "the riches" doesn't always translate to having common sense. I know this guy who won the lottery, and suddenly he thinks he's the smartest person in the world. He's out there buying luxury cars and designer clothes like there's no tomorrow. I asked him, "Hey, buddy, did you invest any of that money?" He looked at me like I just spoke an alien language. "Invest? Nah, I'm investing in the good life, my friend!"
So, apparently, the riches don't come with a free subscription to a financial advisor. Who knew?
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