17 The Incarcerated Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jul 21 2025

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Why did the incarcerated comedian start a gardening club? Because he wanted to plant some laughs behind bars!
What's a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark? The period - they always do their time!
What's a prisoner's favorite candy? Life Savers!
What did the inmate say to his pencil? You're my closest sketchy friend.
What do you call a group of musical prisoners? The chain gang!
Why was the math book in prison? It had too many problems.
What do you call a fake noodle in prison? An impasta!
I heard prison food is terrible, but hey, at least you get a life sentence with a side of mashed potatoes.
Prison libraries are fascinating. They've got all the classic literature – you know, 'The Shawshank Redemption,' 'Orange is the New Black,' and of course, '101 Ways to Make a Shank Out of a Toothbrush.'
I was thinking of starting a fitness program for the incarcerated – you know, 'Jailhouse Rockercise.' It's the only workout where you can tone your muscles and perfect your mugshot pose simultaneously.
Behind bars, they say orange is the new black. I guess that's the fashion statement when your wardrobe comes with a built-in cage!
You know, prisons have a unique way of helping you find yourself. I mean, where else can you lose weight, find religion, and become an expert in making license plate art all in one place?
You ever get a postcard from prison? 'Wish you were here – just kidding, wish I wasn't!' Turns out, prison life isn't exactly a vacation destination.
I was watching a documentary about prison life, and it turns out, inmates have their own version of Yelp for rating the quality of toilet paper. It's like, 'Five stars for softness, but a little lacking in absorbency.'
I found out that inmates have their own lingo. Like, when they say they're 'doing time,' it's not a workout routine. It's more of a 'Netflix and confined.'
You ever notice how prisons are like exclusive clubs? I mean, they even have VIP sections – Very Incarcerated People. They get the best views of the yard.
I was reading about prison education programs. Apparently, they offer degrees in escapeology. It's the only place where cutting class has a whole new meaning.

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