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What did the algebra book say to the geometry book? Stop being so irrational!
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Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
The Educated
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You know, they say knowledge is power. Well, I must be a superhero because I have the power to bore a party in five seconds flat. I walk into a room, and people scatter faster than if I yelled free kale smoothies!
The Educated
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I recently got invited to a trivia night at a bar. Let me tell you, answering questions about quantum physics is a great way to make friends. If by friends, you mean the lonely bartender who's trying to escape your deep conversation.
The Educated
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I went on a date with someone who claimed to be well-read. When I asked about their favorite book, they said, Facebook. I guess social media counts as literature now. Who needs Shakespeare when you have status updates?
The Educated
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I attended a lecture on time travel. They said if you want to experience it, just sit through a three-hour seminar on theoretical physics. I can now confirm, time does slow down when you're learning about wormholes.
The Educated
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I'm so educated that I alphabetize my spice rack. Because nothing says I have a Master's degree like a perfectly organized collection of herbs. My oregano has its own thesis.
The Educated
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I tried impressing a date with my intellect, so I took her to a museum. You know, cultured stuff. But apparently, discussing the intricacies of ancient pottery isn't as romantic as Hollywood would have you believe. Who knew?
The Educated
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I tried joining a book club to connect with fellow intellectuals. Turns out, they just wanted a wine-drinking club with a side of literary gossip. I brought my copy of War and Peace, and they brought merlot. It was a war, and I was at a disadvantage.
The Educated
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I thought about becoming a professor, but then I realized I'd have to wear elbow patches on my blazer. Elbow patches! I'd rather be uneducated than walk around looking like I wrestled a particularly aggressive library.
The Educated
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I decided to take up a hobby to broaden my horizons. I chose astrophysics. Now I spend my evenings gazing at the stars and wondering if they're judging me for not understanding dark matter. Spoiler alert: they are.
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