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The Intellectual Fitness Guru
Incorporating philosophical debates into workout routines
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My fitness mantra is simple: "Socrates said, 'Know thyself,' but he never mentioned how many squats it takes to achieve self-awareness. I'm guessing it's somewhere between 50 and an existential crisis.
The Scientific Chef
Cooking meals using only chemical formulas
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My friend asked me for the recipe, and I handed them a sheet of equations. They said, "I asked for lasagna, not a calculus exam." Well, excuse me for trying to add a dash of sophistication to the culinary arts!
The Overachieving History Buff
Explaining historical events with interpretive dance
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My friends weren't impressed when I performed the entire French Revolution using interpretive dance. Apparently, twirling a baguette while reenacting the storming of the Bastille is not historically accurate. Who knew?
The Overly Educated Cat Lover
Balancing a cat on the head while discussing quantum physics
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My cat is so smart; he corrected my grammar the other day. I said, "I'm well," and he replied, "Actually, it's 'I'm doing well.' Did you even graduate from cat school?
The Tech-Savvy Shakespearean Scholar
Translating tech jargon into Shakespearean language
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My computer crashed, and I exclaimed, "Alas, poor laptop! I knew him, Horatio; a device of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. It hath borne me on its back a thousand times. Where be your Windows now?
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