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My wife said, 'You need to be more generous.' So, I told her she's getting 50% of the bill tonight!
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My credit card company called to ask if my card had been stolen. I said, 'No, that's just how I shop.
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I asked the waiter if he had anything light on the menu. He handed me the bill.
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug - then handed me the bill.
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Why did the man bring a ladder to the restaurant? He wanted to reach the high prices on the menu!
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I told my boss I needed a raise. He suggested I just raise my tolerance for bills instead!
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My friend said I should always look at the bright side of the bill. So, now I pay it during daylight hours!
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I told my accountant I was having trouble making ends meet. He doubled my bill!
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