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There's nothing like trying to plan a romantic dinner with your significant other, only to have "that's what she said" crash the party. You could be ordering the fanciest dish on the menu, and when the waiter asks, "Are you sure you can handle that?" – bam, someone at the table drops the inevitable bomb. I tried to order a lobster once, thinking I was impressing my date, and the waiter said, "It's a bit messy; are you okay with that?" And, of course, the whole restaurant hears, "That's what she said!" Now, instead of a romantic evening, I'm the guy who turned a lobster dinner into a standup routine.
Note to self: always choose the menu items with the least innuendo potential when trying to impress a date.
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I used to work in an office where "that's what she said" was practically an official company motto. I swear, the office manager could be discussing quarterly reports, and someone in the back would mutter, "That's what she said," and the whole place would erupt in laughter. But here's the thing – it got so out of hand that HR had to step in. They called a meeting to address the inappropriate use of the phrase. The irony was palpable because, of course, every serious HR announcement was met with stifled giggles and suppressed "that's what she said" remarks.
It got so bad that they even had to introduce a "that's what she said" jar – you know, like a swear jar, but for unintentional sexual innuendos. Let me tell you, by the end of the month, we had enough money in that jar to throw a lavish office party. So, I guess in the end, "that's what she said" really did pay off.
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You ever notice how "that's what she said" has become the universal punchline for everything? I mean, you could be talking about the weather, and someone will chime in with, "That's what she said." It's like the Swiss Army knife of humor. I was at the grocery store the other day, trying to find some ripe avocados, and the produce guy comes over and says, "You want a firm one." And before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "That's what she said!" Now, I'm just a guy trying to make guacamole, but suddenly I'm the comedian of the produce section.
It's a classic case of a simple statement turning into an unintended innuendo. And you know what they say about assumptions – they make an "ass" out of "u" and "mptions.
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Being a parent is a whole new world of unintentional comedy. Kids say the darndest things, and sometimes, they unknowingly set you up for a perfect "that's what she said" moment. I was helping my son with his homework, and he asked, "Dad, can you help me with this long division?" I looked at the problem and without missing a beat, I said, "Sure, buddy, I'm an expert at long division – that's what she said!" Cue the awkward silence and confused look from my son, who was just trying to ace his math test.
Parenting tip: always be ready for those unexpected setups because you never know when your kid is going to unintentionally make you the king of dad jokes.
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