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Dating Advice from a Squid
A squid giving dating tips
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Squids are great at relationships; they know how to go with the flow. Unless, of course, you ask about commitment. Then they start squirting ink like it's a breakup smoke signal.
Nautilus as a Life Coach
A nautilus trying to motivate others
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Life advice from a nautilus: "Learn to let go, like shedding old chambers of your shell." I tried that with my ex's stuff; turns out, she didn't appreciate her belongings scattered all over the ocean floor.
Octopus at a Job Interview
An octopus trying to land a job
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Octopuses are great at teamwork – they even high-five themselves with all those tentacles. The problem is, potential employers find it hard to shake hands with an applicant who has eight of them.
Jellyfish Stand-Up Comedy
A jellyfish trying to make people laugh
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I told a joke to a jellyfish, and it stung me. I guess it didn't appreciate my humor, or maybe it was just allergic to laughter.
Cuttlefish Marriage Counselor
A cuttlefish trying to save marriages
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I went to a cuttlefish therapist, and he told me, "Communication is key." Now I communicate with my spouse using elaborate color patterns. Blue means I'm sad, red means I'm angry, and camouflage means I'm avoiding the conversation altogether.
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