bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
So, the other day, I'm walking down the street, and this guy tries to mug me. I'm thinking, "Great, just what I needed today." But then I remember, I've got a swordfish in my bag. I whip it out like I'm a fish-wielding superhero. The mugger takes one look at it and says, "Is that a swordfish?" I reply, "Yep, and I'm not afraid to use it!" Now, I never thought a swordfish could be a self-defense tool, but let me tell you, it's surprisingly effective. The guy takes off running, probably thinking, "I didn't sign up for a fish fight today." So, note to self: always carry a swordfish for protection. Who needs pepper spray when you can have a fish with attitude?
0
0
I got a call from my kid's school the other day. They said my son brought something inappropriate for show-and-tell. I'm thinking, "Oh no, what did he do now?" Turns out, he brought a plastic swordfish toy. The teacher said it was too aggressive. I'm like, "Lady, it's a fish with a pointy nose, not a Viking war axe!" I had to go in for a meeting. They're treating it like my kid brought a weapon to school. I'm sitting there, trying to keep a straight face, while they're talking about the dangers of swordfish in the classroom. I suggest a marine biology lesson instead. Maybe then they'd appreciate the educational value of my son's show-and-tell choice.
0
0
You know, I recently got into cooking. Yeah, they say the way to a person's heart is through their stomach. So, I thought I'd impress my date with a fancy dish. I decided to go for swordfish. Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to cook swordfish, but it's like trying to wrangle a fish with a machete. I mean, who named it swordfish? Were they expecting me to joust with it in the kitchen? I go to the store, and I ask the fishmonger for swordfish. He hands it over like he's passing me Excalibur or something. I take it home, and it's this massive, intimidating piece of fish. I'm in my kitchen, trying to figure out how to cut it. I felt like a medieval knight preparing for battle. I'm there with my apron, wielding a knife like a sword, yelling, "For the realm of Flavor!"
I finally managed to get it into the pan, but the whole time, I couldn't help but think, maybe I should have just ordered pizza. Who needs a swordfish when you can have a pepperoni sword?
0
0
Dating is tough, folks. I thought bringing a swordfish to a date would make me memorable, you know, show that I'm unique. I show up at the restaurant, and the waiter looks at me like I'm crazy. I say, "Table for two, and could you please cook this swordfish for me? Medium-rare, if you can." My date arrives, sees the swordfish, and gives me that look. You know the one—like she's reevaluating all her life choices. I try to explain, "It's a culinary adventure! A fish of a different flavor!" Needless to say, I never got a call back. Who knew swordfish wouldn't impress in the world of dating? Maybe next time, I'll stick to roses and chocolates like a normal person.
Post a Comment