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The standing ovations during the State of the Union are like workout intervals. Up, down, up, down – it's a cardio routine disguised as governance.
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Have you noticed that the camera always pans to the opposition party during the speech? It's like watching a family dinner where everyone is politely smiling, but you know they're secretly plotting to steal the last piece of pie.
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The State of the Union is the only time we see politicians try to outdo each other with their poker faces. It's like a game of "Who can look more concerned without actually committing to anything?
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The State of the Union is like the adult version of a report card. The president stands up there, and we're all sitting in the audience, praying they don't mention our country's GPA.
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The State of the Union address is the only time politicians try to out-clap each other. It's like a bizarre game of political applause one-upmanship. "Oh, you clapped for that? Watch this!
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The State of the Union drinking game is a dangerous one. Take a sip every time the president says "unity," and you'll be seeing bipartisan cooperation – in the form of a hangover.
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I love how they introduce all the important guests at the State of the Union. It's like a high-stakes game of "Who's Who" but with more clapping and less Monopoly money.
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The response speeches after the State of the Union are the real MVPs. It's like watching the opening act after the main performance. "Thanks for that, but can we get back to the headliner, please?
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Ever notice how the president always has a designated survivor during the State of the Union? That person must be thinking, "I'm just here for the free snacks, not to run the country if things go south.
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