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Why is it that we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are weak? Like, suddenly applying extra pressure is going to miraculously revive the TV signal. "Come on, just a little more pressure, I can almost make out their faces!
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Why do we call it "fast food drive-thru" when sometimes it feels more like a pit stop in a NASCAR race? "Pit crew, I need my burger and fries in under 10 seconds, let's go, go, go!
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Have you ever accidentally waved back at someone who was waving to the person behind you? It's like, "Hey, sorry, I wasn't ignoring you; I just thought you had a really enthusiastic friend back there!
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We have all mastered the art of pretending to understand what someone said, even though we didn't catch a single word. "Oh, yeah, absolutely, totally got it." Inside your head: "I have no clue, but I'm nodding like a bobblehead.
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Let's talk about the mysterious disappearance of Tupperware lids. It's like they have their own secret society, and every time you need one, they're having a secret meeting to discuss how inconvenient it would be to let you find it. "Sorry, human, no leftovers for you today!
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You ever notice how the first slice of bread in the loaf is like the sacrificial lamb of sandwiches? It's all brave, being the front-runner, but then you just end up leaving it there for the birds. "Here you go, pigeons, enjoy your carb-loaded feast!
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Why do we trust shampoo bottles that claim to be "easy-open" when it takes the strength of a Greek god to pry them open in the shower? I just wanted to wash my hair, not participate in an arm-wrestling match!
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I love how we pretend to understand the purpose of the second sock. The first one, sure, it's essential. But the second one? It's just a backup dancer for the sock drawer's solo performance.
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Have you ever tried to discreetly follow a GPS voice in a crowded place, and it starts giving you directions like, "In 500 feet, turn left," and you're there in the middle of a shopping mall trying to make a sharp left near the escalator? Good luck with that!
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