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My friend bet me that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on his face when I drove pasta at 60 miles per hour!
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one and needed to spit out his gum!
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Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's spit!
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I tried to catch some fog. I mist, so I just ended up with a wet face and a lot of accidental spit!
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Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing and spitted out its seeds in surprise!
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My friend bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on his face when I drove pasta at 60 miles per hour!
Spitfire Conversations
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I've figured out the secret to engaging in heated arguments without anyone getting hurt – turn it into a Spitfire Conversation. Whenever things get too intense, just unleash a well-timed burst of air mixed with a sprinkle of spittle. Suddenly, your debate on the best pizza toppings becomes a laugh-out-loud spectacle.
Spit & Seek
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My kids wanted to play hide and seek, but I'm not very good at counting. So, we modified the game a bit – we now play Spit & Seek. I close my eyes, they hide, and I have to find them by listening for the sound of suppressed giggles and the occasional eww when I accidentally hit them with a well-aimed saliva missile.
Spitzenkrieg
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I was watching a historical documentary about World War II, and it hit me – those generals could have benefited from a good spitball fight. Imagine instead of dropping bombs, they settled their differences with a well-coordinated barrage of saliva. Spitzenkrieg, they would call it – the war to end all wars, one globule at a time.
Spitball Diplomacy
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You know you've reached a new level of adulthood when your idea of rebellion is throwing a spitball at your colleague during a boring office presentation. I call it Spitball Diplomacy. It's my way of saying, Your quarterly projections are as accurate as my aim with this piece of paper. HR might not appreciate it, but my fellow coworkers secretly thank me for injecting some excitement into those PowerPoint marathons.
Spit-tuation Room
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Relationships are like delicate ecosystems, right? So, my girlfriend and I decided to establish a Spit-tuation Room. It's a designated space in our apartment where we can discuss serious matters, like whose turn it is to do the dishes, while having a water gun fight. Nothing says I love you like settling domestic disputes with a well-aimed stream of water.
Spit & Swear
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I've developed a unique stress management technique called Spit & Swear. It's simple: every time life throws something my way, I spit out my frustrations like a boxer spits water, and then I let out a creative string of expletives. It's therapeutic, and my dentist loves me for the extra saliva-related business.
Spitball Symphony
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You ever notice how when you're in a boring meeting, your mind starts to wander? I was in this meeting the other day, and I started a little game called Spitball Symphony. It's like conducting an orchestra, but with tiny balls of saliva. The key is to aim for the guy who won't stop talking about synergy. Trust me, it's way more entertaining than any PowerPoint presentation.
Spituation Comedy
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Life is full of unexpected spituations. You know you're in a real-life sitcom when your car breaks down in the pouring rain, and you have to improvise a makeshift umbrella out of your jacket. It's like the universe is playing its own version of Spituation Comedy, and I'm just here trying to dodge the cosmic spitballs it throws my way.
Spit-tacular Self-Defense
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My friends insist I take a self-defense class, but why bother when I've mastered the art of Spit-tacular Self-Defense? It's simple: whenever someone approaches me looking sketchy, I just unleash a rapid-fire barrage of saliva. Trust me, no one wants to mess with a person who can turn a casual conversation into a wet and wild experience.
Spit-take Surprise
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I was on a blind date recently, and things were going pretty well until she told me she collects exotic pets. She casually mentioned she had a pet snake, tarantula, and a parrot. I nearly choked on my drink! My spit-take was so impressive; even the parrot was impressed. It squawked, Now that's a surprise! Who knew my body's defense mechanism could double as a party trick?
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