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Joke Types
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What did one car say to another after getting a speeding ticket? 'Looks like we've hit a speed bump in our friendship!
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Why did the scarecrow get a speeding ticket? It was outstanding in its field but not so outstanding on the road!
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Why did the chicken get a speeding ticket? It was trying to cross the road in record time!
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Why did the math book get a speeding ticket? It had too many problems and couldn't slow down to solve them!
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What did the turtle say to the rabbit after it got a speeding ticket? 'Slow and steady wins the race, my friend!
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What do you call a snail that got a speeding ticket? A slow-motion criminal!
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Why did the computer get a speeding ticket? It had too many bytes and couldn't slow down!
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Why did the tomato turn red when it got a speeding ticket? It saw the salad dressing!
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What did the cheetah say to the police officer after getting a speeding ticket? 'I was just trying to get spotted!
Ticket Wisdom
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They say with age comes wisdom, but apparently, wisdom doesn't include knowing when to hit the brakes. I got a speeding ticket the other day, and the cop told me, Ignorance of the law is no excuse. I said, Well, officer, apparently ignorance of my speedometer is also not an excuse.
Speeding Olympics
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I got a speeding ticket, and now I feel like I should get a medal for my performance. The cop said, You were going 20 miles over the limit. I replied, Officer, it's not every day I get to compete in the Speeding Olympics. I was just trying to break my personal record!
Ticket Resolutions
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Getting a speeding ticket is like making a New Year's resolution. You start the day with good intentions, but by the end of it, you're stuck with a commitment you regret. Here's to hoping my resolution for next year is to develop a lead foot immunity!
Speeding and Confused
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The worst part about getting a speeding ticket is trying to explain it to your friends. So, I was going faster than the speed limit, and then this guy with flashing lights told me to pull over. Long story short, I now owe the government money for driving too efficiently.
Speeding Ticket Follies
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You know you're having a bad day when you get a speeding ticket. I got pulled over the other day, and the cop asked me if I knew why he stopped me. I said, Because you have a quota to meet, and I'm just here to help you out, officer!
High-Speed Enlightenment
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They say that when you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. Well, when you're getting a speeding ticket, your wallet flashes before your eyes. It's like a moment of high-speed enlightenment, but with a much harsher reality check.
Speeding Excuses
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When you get pulled over for speeding, you start brainstorming excuses like you're preparing for a job interview. Officer, I was just trying to outrun my problems. You know, life in the slow lane was too boring, and my existential crisis was gaining on me!
Ticket Fashion
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Getting a speeding ticket is like getting a fashion citation for going too fast. The cop told me, Sir, your speed is a danger to yourself and others. I thought, Well, officer, it's called the fast lane for a reason. I'm just keeping up with the trends.
Ticket Karma
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Getting a speeding ticket is like karma tapping you on the shoulder and saying, Remember all those times you laughed at slow drivers? Well, here's your punchline, buddy! Now I'm just waiting for karma to send me a coupon for defensive driving classes.
Ticket vs. Grocery List
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Getting a speeding ticket feels like someone handed you a bill for bad driving. It's like the universe saying, Hey, here's your receipt for going too fast. I wish they'd itemize it, though. Speeding: $100. Honking at slow drivers: $50. Trying to sing along to the radio and almost crashing: priceless.
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