4 Jokes About Smoking Weed

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 10 2024

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I recently went on a nature hike with a buddy who loves to smoke weed. He insisted it would make the hike more "enlightening." Let me tell you, halfway up the trail, he became convinced that a squirrel was plotting against us. Spent a good 20 minutes negotiating a peace treaty with this squirrel! I'm pretty sure if you ask the squirrel, it's now the ruler of its own tiny, sovereign nation up on that hill.
You know, they say smoking weed can make you more creative. Well, I tried it, and let me tell you, I became the Picasso of procrastination. Suddenly, I had all these brilliant ideas for things I should be doing, but instead, I rearranged my snack cabinet alphabetically. I even color-coded my socks! Turns out, my creativity peaked in the realm of avoiding responsibilities.
Ever notice how when people are high, suddenly, the most profound thoughts come to mind? Like, I was sitting with my friend, and out of nowhere, he goes, "What if oranges are just pre-squeezed juice?" I mean, I never thought of that! But then again, at that moment, I also believed I could speak fluent dolphin, so there's that.
So, I heard about this new smart fridge that tells you when you're out of food. Brilliant, right? Well, not so much when you're stoned. Imagine standing there, getting a notification from your fridge that says, "You're out of milk," and you're like, "Whoa, my fridge is talking to me!" Next thing you know, you're having a heart-to-heart with your appliances, contemplating the meaning of life with your toaster.

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