20 Jokes For Scared

Puns

Updated on: Aug 11 2025

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Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants!
What's a vampire's least favorite meal? A steak out!
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultrygeist!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why don't ghosts like the rain? It dampens their spirits!
Why did the ghost go to the party? For the boos!
Why don't ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits!

Haunted House Horrors

I recently visited a haunted house, and let me tell you, it was so scary that even the ghosts were scared! I walked in, and Casper was like, Whoa, dude, you're on your own in there. I didn't know whether to be frightened or give them a pep talk about embracing their spooky side.

The Terrifying To-Do List

I have a to-do list that's scarier than any horror movie plot. It starts with laundry and ends with conquer world domination. Right now, I'm stuck on step one, wondering if my socks are plotting against me. Laundry day is a battlefield, my friends.

The Startled Sneeze

Have you ever tried to suppress a sneeze in a quiet room? It's like trying to hide from a serial killer in a horror movie. You think you're safe, but then the sneeze jumps out like, Surprise! I'm here to terrify everyone within earshot!

Spooky Refrigerator Mysteries

I opened my refrigerator at 3 AM, and it sounded like a horror movie soundtrack. Creaks, moans, and the occasional mysterious thud. I half expected a ghost to pop out and say, Do you have any snacks that go bump in the night?

Scaredy-Pants GPS

My GPS is the most anxious navigation system ever. Every time I take a wrong turn, it sounds like it's about to have a panic attack. Recalculating! Oh no, we're lost! What if we end up in a creepy forest with no Wi-Fi?! I just wanted directions, not a horror movie script.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) on Ghosts

I realized I have a serious case of FOMO, but not the usual kind. It's the Fear of Missing Out on Ghosts syndrome. Everyone's talking about encountering spirits, and I'm here wondering if ghosts have group chats, and if I'm the only one not getting the paranormal memo.

The Scared Cat Conundrum

You ever notice how cats are always on edge? I mean, my cat is scared of her own shadow. I tried to reassure her, but she hissed at me like I was a snake in disguise. I'm starting to think she's auditioning for a role in a feline horror movie. The Scared Cat Conundrum - coming soon to a litter box near you.

Horror Movie Shower Thoughts

You know you're an adult when your shower thoughts shift from profound reflections on life to horror movie scenarios. I'm just trying to shampoo my hair, but my brain is like, What if a hand reaches out from the drain? I swear, my shampoo bottle gives me the side-eye every time.

Nighttime Ninja Moves

I've mastered the art of ninja moves when I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I tiptoe, avoid creaky floorboards, and do a stealthy dance around the cat who thinks it's auditioning for a jump-scare role in my midnight horror flick.

The Terrifying Treadmill

My treadmill has become a horror movie set. I step on it, and it's like I've entered a parallel universe where the only soundtrack is heavy breathing and the ominous hum of the machine. If horror movies had fitness sequels, this would be the ultimate workout. Cardio: The Silent Scream.

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