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My roommate told me I should be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends – Netflix and Wi-Fi.
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I told my roommate he needs to be more optimistic. He said, 'Sure, I'll try – but I doubt it'll work.
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My roommate said my jokes are like onions. They make him cry. I said, at least they have layers.
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My roommate asked if I could stop singing in the shower. I asked if he could stop watching through the keyhole.
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