17 Jokes For Record Longest

Puns

Updated on: Apr 02 2025

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My cat broke the record for the longest catnap. I guess she's a real pro at paws-ing!
Why did the marathon runner break the record for the longest race? Because he took a shortcut through the record store!
I broke the record for the longest time staring at a can of orange juice. It said 'concentrate'!
My dog set a record for the longest tail wag. It's a tail of epic proportions!
Why did the record player go to therapy? It had too many issues with its needle!
I set a record for the longest time staring at my closet. Turns out, the clothes were having a fashion show inside!
I set a record for the longest time without checking my phone. My voicemail left me a standing ovation!
I'm determined to record the longest... voicemail greeting. I figure if I make it 10 minutes, people might just hang up and send me a letter instead.
Thinking of recording the longest... yawn. My friends already say my stories are like a never-ending saga, so why not make it literal?
I'm on a mission to record the longest... elevator ride. Turns out, people get really uncomfortable when you start playing elevator music on your phone.
Attempting to record the longest... staring at the fridge, contemplating life. My refrigerator is starting to give me existential advice now. 'Maybe you're the one who needs cooling down, buddy!'
I attempted to record the longest... nap. My cat, on the other hand, has already claimed that record. In fact, he's been napping since 2016.
Trying to record the longest... relationship? Because my girlfriend keeps bringing up my high score in ignoring her requests.
Recording the longest... traffic jam? I'm just sitting in my car, staring at the bumper stickers in front of me, hoping for a plot twist.
I decided to record the longest... grocery receipt. Now, every time I buy a single cucumber, the cashier hands me a diploma.
Decided to record the longest... sneeze. It's an impressive feat until you realize I've been holding in that sneeze for three days. My face is stuck.
Record the longest... staring contest? Yeah, my cat won. I blinked first. That feline is a relentless competitor.

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