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My cat broke the record for the longest catnap. I guess she's a real pro at paws-ing!
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Why did the marathon runner break the record for the longest race? Because he took a shortcut through the record store!
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I broke the record for the longest time staring at a can of orange juice. It said 'concentrate'!
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My dog set a record for the longest tail wag. It's a tail of epic proportions!
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Why did the record player go to therapy? It had too many issues with its needle!
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I set a record for the longest time staring at my closet. Turns out, the clothes were having a fashion show inside!
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I set a record for the longest time without checking my phone. My voicemail left me a standing ovation!
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I'm determined to record the longest... voicemail greeting. I figure if I make it 10 minutes, people might just hang up and send me a letter instead.
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Thinking of recording the longest... yawn. My friends already say my stories are like a never-ending saga, so why not make it literal?
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I'm on a mission to record the longest... elevator ride. Turns out, people get really uncomfortable when you start playing elevator music on your phone.
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Attempting to record the longest... staring at the fridge, contemplating life. My refrigerator is starting to give me existential advice now. 'Maybe you're the one who needs cooling down, buddy!'
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I attempted to record the longest... nap. My cat, on the other hand, has already claimed that record. In fact, he's been napping since 2016.
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Trying to record the longest... relationship? Because my girlfriend keeps bringing up my high score in ignoring her requests.
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Recording the longest... traffic jam? I'm just sitting in my car, staring at the bumper stickers in front of me, hoping for a plot twist.
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I decided to record the longest... grocery receipt. Now, every time I buy a single cucumber, the cashier hands me a diploma.
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Decided to record the longest... sneeze. It's an impressive feat until you realize I've been holding in that sneeze for three days. My face is stuck.
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