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We're all trying to set records these days. I attempted the "longest time spent staring at a refrigerator without actually deciding what to eat." Spoiler alert: it's longer than you'd think.
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Is it just me, or does the "longest line at the grocery store" seem to have its own gravitational pull? It's like a checkout black hole that sucks you in when you're in a rush.
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I'm convinced that the "world's longest line for the bathroom" is at every major event. It's like a universal law – the bigger the crowd, the longer the line. It's a scientific fact, right?
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Trying to set a record for the longest conversation about the weather. I've discussed the nuances of clouds with my neighbor for hours. Spoiler alert: We still don't understand meteorology.
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I decided to challenge myself and set a personal record for the longest time spent pretending to understand a math problem. Spoiler alert: I'm still pretending.
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Attempted the "longest time spent looking for a lost sock." I'm pretty sure socks have a secret society, and they disappear just to mess with us. If only my sock drawer had a lost and found.
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Why do we call it the "longest recorded history"? Who's keeping track, and can we get them a shorter shift? I can't even keep track of where I put my TV remote.
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Trying to break the record for the longest time spent waiting for a text reply. I'm pretty sure I've aged a year in the process. If waiting were a sport, I'd be an Olympic gold medalist.
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I recently tried to set a record for the longest time spent looking for my keys. I didn't break any records, but I did discover a black hole in my living room that seemed to devour small objects.
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