18 Your Spouse Jokes

Puns

Updated on: May 21 2025

cancel
Rating
Sort By:
Why did my spouse bring a calculator to our argument? To sum up all my mistakes!
Why did my spouse bring a calendar to our argument? To schedule a better time to disagree!
Why did my spouse bring a umbrella on our date? To stay dry from all the tears of laughter I bring!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like my spouse when they're late!
Why did my spouse become a gardener? Because they wanted to plant the seeds of love... and tomatoes.
Why did my spouse bring a mirror to our argument? To reflect on how right I am!
Why did my spouse bring a pencil to bed? In case they wanted to draw attention to our relationship!
Why did my spouse bring a map to our marriage? To find their way back to being right!

Shopping Cart Wars

Grocery shopping with your spouse is like entering a battlefield. It starts with innocent things like, Do we really need that? and quickly escalates to a full-blown war over whether to buy crunchy or creamy peanut butter. It's a shopping cart showdown, folks!

Communication Breakdown

They say communication is the key to a successful marriage. Well, if that's true, then my spouse and I must have changed the locks! We communicate so well that half the time, I have no idea what we're arguing about. But hey, it keeps things exciting!

The Romance Chronicles

My spouse is convinced our love story is a romantic saga. I see it more like a thriller - you know, with suspenseful moments like, Who left the toilet seat up in the middle of the night? It's a real nail-biter, folks.

Marriage Math

You ever notice that marriage is like math? You add a husband and a wife together, and you get a lot of problems! I mean, who knew that I do actually meant I do your laundry, I do the dishes, and I do pretend to listen while you talk about your day?

The Snore Symphony

My spouse claims I snore like a chainsaw. I say it's just my way of providing a free nightly concert. I'm not snoring; I'm performing a symphony of sounds that only the bravest can endure.

The Mystery of the Missing Socks

In marriage, socks have a magical ability to disappear. I'm starting to think there's a sock black hole in our laundry room. I mean, where do they go? Are they on a tropical vacation without us? Maybe they just need some time alone.

Date Night Dilemmas

Date nights are supposed to be romantic, right? Well, ours usually involve a debate over where to eat. It's like a culinary chess match, with each move carefully calculated to avoid the dreaded I don't care, you decide stalemate.

The Great Toothpaste Squeeze

You know you're in a committed relationship when the way your spouse squeezes the toothpaste becomes a point of contention. I never knew there were so many opinions on tube etiquette. It's the great toothpaste squeeze debate – coming soon to a bathroom near you!

Bedtime Battles

Sleeping with your spouse is like a wrestling match, but instead of pinning each other down, it's more like trying to steal the blankets without waking them up. It's all about stealth and strategy. Mission Impossible: Bed Edition.

Remote Control Rumble

We have this ongoing battle for control of the TV remote. It's like a high-stakes game of power and dominance. Whoever holds the remote holds the power in the relationship. I call it the Clicker Conundrum.

Post a Comment


How was your experience?
0 0 reviews
5 Stars
(0)
4 Stars
(0)
3 Stars
(0)
2 Stars
(0)
1 Stars
(0)

Topic of the day

Go-somewhere
May 23 2025

0
Total Topics
0
Added Today