10 Your Spouse Jokes

Observational Jokes

Updated on: May 21 2025

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Marriage is essentially a long-term game of hide and seek. The only difference is, instead of hiding, you're both just hoping the other person can find where you left your car keys.
You know you're in a long-term relationship when "Netflix and chill" really just means finding a show you both don't hate. It's like a quest for the Holy Grail, but with more snacks and fewer dragons.
Marriage is sharing everything, including the TV remote. Whoever said sharing is caring never had to fight over control of the remote during a crucial moment of a gripping TV show. It's like a high-stakes battle for the soul of entertainment.
My spouse asked me to surprise them, so I did the dishes before they had a chance to. The look of shock on their face made me feel like I had just pulled off a magic trick. Abracadabra, the sink is clean!
They say a way to a person's heart is through their stomach. In my case, it's more like a detour through a drive-thru. My spouse knows the key to my heart is a well-timed delivery of fast food. Love truly is a combo meal.
My spouse insists on labeling leftovers with the date they were made. As if my refrigerator is some kind of culinary time capsule. "Ah, yes, this lasagna is from the great pasta era of last Wednesday.
In marriage, there's a fine line between "playful teasing" and "sleeping on the couch tonight." It's a delicate dance where the wrong joke can turn your evening into a solo performance.
My spouse claims they never snore, but I've discovered the secret. It's not snoring; it's just aggressive air compliments. They're so in love with oxygen that they have to express it loudly while sleeping.
The most dangerous game in a relationship is the "What do you want to eat?" game. It's like playing Russian Roulette with restaurants. You never know if you're going to end up with a delicious meal or regretting every life choice.
Marriage is all about compromise. For example, I wanted a big, fancy wedding, and my spouse wanted to save money. So, we compromised and had a big, fancy argument about it.

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