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You ever accidentally send a cow selfie to your crush instead of the cute cat meme you meant to share? Yeah, me neither. But if I did, I'd hope they'd find it udderly charming.
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Having two cows is like having a two-member book club, where all they want to discuss is the latest grass recipes. Spoiler alert: clover is the hot topic this season.
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Ever try telling your problems to a cow? I did. Turns out they're great listeners, but terrible at giving advice. The best I got was a sympathetic "moo." Solidarity in silence, I guess.
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So, I've got two cows, and they're like roommates with benefits. One's always mooing in the morning like it's a motivational speech, and the other one's just giving me the stink eye for not providing organic hay.
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One of my cows is a fitness enthusiast. Caught her doing yoga in the pasture the other day – she mastered the downward cow pose. Now I'm just waiting for the instructional DVD.
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You know you're an adult when your biggest dilemma is not which video game to play, but whether to buy a cow or invest in Bitcoin. Spoiler alert: I went with the cow.
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Trying to make small talk with cows is a challenge. You compliment their spots, and they just stare at you like you're speaking a different moo-languange. Maybe they're just not herd enthusiasts.
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I decided to throw a cow-themed party. It was udderly amazing until the cows started critiquing the decorations. Apparently, they're very particular about balloon placement.
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My cows have this incredible ability to predict the weather. When they stand in a huddle, it's going to rain. When they scatter, it's a stampede, and I should probably start building an ark.
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