15 Women With Birthdays Over 70 Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jan 23 2025

cancel
Rating
Sort By:
Why do 70-year-old women make the best birthday cake decorators? They've had years to perfect their icing technique!
How does a 70-year-old woman celebrate her birthday in style? With pearls of wisdom and a touch of sass!
Why do 70-year-old women make the best comedians? They've got a lifetime of punchlines and don't mind delivering them!
What do you call a 70-year-old woman who loves to dance? The Disco Duchess of Delight!
How does a 70-year-old woman put her best foot forward on her birthday? She takes one step at a time, then stops to dance!

Forgetfulness at its Finest

At 70, you have the right to forget anything you want. I asked one woman how she stays sharp at her age, and she said, I forget to be forgetful. I thought, That's next-level forgetfulness right there.

The Mystery of the Disappearing Glasses

I asked a woman celebrating her 75th birthday where she always loses her glasses. She said, I don't lose them; they're on a spontaneous vacation. Sometimes they need a break from my face.

Living in the Past

I attended a 70th birthday party, and the nostalgia was real. They were reminiscing about the good old days, like when they had to walk uphill both ways to school. In the snow. Without shoes. Kids these days have it easy.

Dancing Queen's Encore

I went to a birthday party for a 70-year-old who insisted on dancing all night. She said, Age is just a number, and I haven't figured out how to dial it yet. Plus, my hips only lie when I'm sitting down.

Vintage Celebrations

You know you're getting old when you celebrate your 71st birthday, and the candles cost more than the cake. I mean, it's not a birthday party anymore; it's a fire hazard assessment.

The Ultimate Bling

You know you're over 70 when your idea of bling is a necklace made of reading glasses. Fashion meets function, or as they call it, see-ster chic.

Social Media Reveal

At 70, Facebook is not just a platform; it's an annual unveiling of who passed away and who is still pretending to be 29. It's like a virtual high school reunion, but with fewer hairlines.

The Real Golden Girls

I met a group of women celebrating their 70th birthdays. They called themselves The Real Golden Girls. I suggested they should get a reality show, but they said it'd be too short – each episode would be a nap.

The Grandmaster of Selfies

I saw a grandma taking a selfie at her 72nd birthday party. She said, Back in my day, we had to paint our portraits. Now, I just press a button and try not to accidentally Facetime the cat.

Extreme Couponing, Grandma Edition

I saw a woman over 70 at the grocery store with a stack of coupons taller than her grandkids. She's not cheap; she's financially seasoned, like a coupon-savvy wizard.

Post a Comment


How was your experience?
0 0 reviews
5 Stars
(0)
4 Stars
(0)
3 Stars
(0)
2 Stars
(0)
1 Stars
(0)

Topic of the day

Go-somewhere
Jan 31 2025

0
Total Topics
0
Added Today