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My wife loves watching those home improvement shows, and suddenly every room in our house needs a makeover. I suggested we start with the bathroom, and she looked at me like I suggested we rob a bank together. Bathrooms are apparently sacred.
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You ever notice that compromise in marriage is like deciding where to eat? My wife says, "I want sushi," and I say, "How about pizza?" So, we compromise and end up with sushi. Every. Single. Time.
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My wife and I have this unspoken agreement about sharing responsibilities. I handle the spider situations, and she takes care of any bug that flies. It's like having our own superhero roles in the household—Spider-Man and Flywoman.
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My wife has this incredible talent for finding things. Not valuable things, mind you. It's like she has a sixth sense, but only for my misplaced socks. Seriously, she should be a sock detective.
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You know how they say opposites attract? My wife and I are living proof. I'm a morning person; she's a night owl. I like the windows open; she prefers them closed. It's a delicate dance of compromise—usually involving a lot of blankets and some serious negotiation skills.
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We recently bought a smart home device, and my wife loves it. She talks to it more than she talks to me. I'm starting to think I should introduce myself to it as the "other man" in her life.
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You ever notice that when your wife asks you to do something, it's not really a request? It's more like a carefully disguised mission with a list of objectives and a timeline. "Honey, can you take out the trash?" translates to "Initiate Operation Garbage Disposal.
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You know how couples have those cutesy nicknames for each other? My wife calls me "Snoring Bear." Not because I snore, but apparently, I resemble a hibernating bear when I sleep. I don't know whether to be flattered or offended.
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We recently celebrated our anniversary, and my wife asked me what I got her. I said, "The pleasure of my company, darling." She didn't seem impressed. Apparently, that's not what she had in mind when she mentioned a "gift.
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