19 Jokes About Wife&#39

Puns

Updated on: Jan 07 2025

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Why did the wife bring a pencil to bed? In case she wanted to draw the curtains!
Why did the wife start a band? She wanted to improve her marriage by adding a little harmony!
Why did the wife become an astronaut? She needed more space!
Why did the wife bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the wife become a gardener? She wanted to plant a kiss and grow a relationship!
Why did the wife bring a clock to the bar? She wanted to make it a happy hour!
Why did the wife bring a suitcase to the kitchen? She was packing a lunch!
Why did the wife bring a map to bed? In case she wanted to navigate her dreams!
Why did the wife bring a car door to the desert? Because if it got too hot, she could roll down the window!
The other day, my wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I gave her a hug.
My wife has this incredible ability to ask me what I'm thinking at the exact moment I realize I'm thinking about nothing. It's like she's got a sixth sense for catching me in my mental 'off' moments.
You know, marriage is all about compromise. I wanted a big-screen TV, she wanted a nice kitchen. So, we compromised - now I watch my favorite shows on a toaster with a 4-slice capacity.
I told my wife I could make a car and a computer from scratch. She challenged me to make a bed. Well, joke's on her; I'm typing this from a bed made of spare car parts and old computer wires.
They say marriage is all about teamwork. My wife handles the 'team,' and I'm the mascot - you know, there to provide moral support and occasional entertainment.
My wife gave me a list of chores to do on the weekend. I lost the list. Now, instead of doing chores, I'm on a quest to find the lost city of 'Honey-Do.'
I tried to surprise my wife with breakfast in bed, but apparently, you're not supposed to bring the toaster in there. Who knew?
My wife is an excellent multitasker. She can make me feel guilty about something I didn't even know I did while simultaneously giving me the silent treatment.
I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary, and she said, 'Nothing expensive.' So, I got her nothing. Turns out, that wasn't the right answer.
Marriage is like a superhero movie, you know? I'm the hero, and my wife? Well, she's the 'wife' - she has this superpower of finding things I never knew were lost.

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