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Why did the wife bring a pencil to bed? In case she wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why did the wife start a band? She wanted to improve her marriage by adding a little harmony!
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Why did the wife bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the wife become a gardener? She wanted to plant a kiss and grow a relationship!
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Why did the wife bring a clock to the bar? She wanted to make it a happy hour!
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Why did the wife bring a suitcase to the kitchen? She was packing a lunch!
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Why did the wife bring a map to bed? In case she wanted to navigate her dreams!
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Why did the wife bring a car door to the desert? Because if it got too hot, she could roll down the window!
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The other day, my wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I gave her a hug.
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My wife has this incredible ability to ask me what I'm thinking at the exact moment I realize I'm thinking about nothing. It's like she's got a sixth sense for catching me in my mental 'off' moments.
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You know, marriage is all about compromise. I wanted a big-screen TV, she wanted a nice kitchen. So, we compromised - now I watch my favorite shows on a toaster with a 4-slice capacity.
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I told my wife I could make a car and a computer from scratch. She challenged me to make a bed. Well, joke's on her; I'm typing this from a bed made of spare car parts and old computer wires.
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They say marriage is all about teamwork. My wife handles the 'team,' and I'm the mascot - you know, there to provide moral support and occasional entertainment.
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My wife gave me a list of chores to do on the weekend. I lost the list. Now, instead of doing chores, I'm on a quest to find the lost city of 'Honey-Do.'
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I tried to surprise my wife with breakfast in bed, but apparently, you're not supposed to bring the toaster in there. Who knew?
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My wife is an excellent multitasker. She can make me feel guilty about something I didn't even know I did while simultaneously giving me the silent treatment.
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I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary, and she said, 'Nothing expensive.' So, I got her nothing. Turns out, that wasn't the right answer.
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