21 Jokes About Todd

Puns

Updated on: Sep 24 2024

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What's Todd's favorite dance? The salsa – because it's so 'chip'!
Why did Todd bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
What did Todd say when he accidentally spilled his coffee? 'Better Latte than never!
Why did Todd bring a mirror to the interview? To reflect on his qualifications!
Did you hear about Todd's gardening skills? He's outstanding in his field!
Why did Todd bring a ladder to the comedy show? To reach the punchline!
Why did Todd bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because he wanted to pack a lunch!
Why did Todd become a gardener? He wanted to 'grow' on people!
Why did Todd bring a calendar to the restaurant? He wanted to check out their 'daily specials'!
What's Todd's favorite kind of party? A tea party – he's steeped in tradition!
Why did Todd become a baker? He kneaded a new career!

Todd's Relationship Wisdom

Todd considers himself a relationship guru. He told me, Love is like a pizza. It's cheesy, but you always want more. I'm not sure if I should take relationship advice from someone who compares love to a pizza delivery.

Todd's Time Travel Theory

Todd told me he's figured out time travel. He said, You just need a DeLorean and a flux capacitor. I asked him where to get those, and he said, Oh, just check eBay. I'm not sure if Todd is a genius or if he's confusing Back to the Future with online shopping.

Todd's Kitchen Nightmares

You know, my friend Todd thinks he's a culinary genius. He watches one episode of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, and suddenly he's an expert. Last night, he tried to save my dinner with a dramatic speech about the importance of seasoning. I just wanted salt, not a Shakespearean monologue.

Todd's GPS Troubles

Todd recently got a GPS, and he's convinced it's smarter than him. The other day, it said, Turn right now, and Todd panicked, shouting, But I'm in the left lane of life! I didn't know whether to follow the GPS or call a therapist for Todd.

Todd's DIY Disaster

My buddy Todd thinks he's a handyman. He attempted to fix a leaky faucet, and now my kitchen looks like a scene from Titanic. I asked him if he had any plumbing experience, and he said, I once fixed a sandwich. No wonder everything's underwater.

Todd's Fitness Journey

So, Todd decided to join a gym to get in shape. He walks in, flexes in front of the mirror, and says, I'm here to pump iron! The only problem is, he's pointing at the treadmill. It's like he's trying to intimidate the cardio equipment.

Todd's Coffee Conundrum

Todd is addicted to coffee. He says, Coffee is a hug in a mug. Well, Todd, if my hugs tasted like burnt beans and kept me up all night, I'd be single. I think he's confusing caffeine with affection.

Todd's Driving Dilemma

Todd got a ticket for speeding, and he tried to fight it. His defense was, I was just testing the car's top speed. The judge wasn't impressed. Todd now thinks the legal system has a speed limit too.

Todd's Tech Troubles

Todd recently got a new smartphone, and he's convinced it's listening to him. He yelled at Siri, saying, Stop eavesdropping! Siri replied, I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Neither did Todd. Maybe Siri needs a hearing aid.

Todd's Pet Philosophy

Todd has this unique theory about pets. He says, If you stare at a goldfish long enough, it becomes a shark. I tried it. Now I just have a confused goldfish and a bunch of neighbors giving me strange looks. Thanks, Todd.

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