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You know, they say marriage is all about sharing everything, right? Well, I recently went to a wedding, and when they said, "For richer or for poorer," I didn't realize they meant within the first month! The bride and groom looked so in love, and I couldn't help but think, "Yeah, love is grand, but have you ever tried splitting the bills?" I mean, they're all smiles at the altar, but I bet the real test is the first time they have to decide who's going to pay for that Netflix subscription. "Honey, I love you, but I'm not giving up my access to 'Stranger Things' for anyone!" I can already see them arguing in the supermarket over who gets to put their rewards card on the checkout counter – that's the modern-day equivalent of a joint bank account, right?
And don't get me started on wedding costs. It's like a financial rollercoaster. You're on this ride, throwing money left and right, and at the end of it, you're not sure if you're getting off at "Happily Ever After" or "I Should've Eloped.
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You ever notice how the bride and groom always look so united during the ceremony, but the real test comes when they're trying to decide what to watch on TV? I bet in the first month of marriage, they'll discover the true meaning of "Netflix and chill" – and by "chill," I mean argue for an hour about what to binge-watch. The remote control becomes the ultimate battleground. It's like a power struggle – whoever holds the remote holds the power in the relationship. I can see them wrestling over it like it's the last piece of cake at a birthday party. "No, I want to watch the romantic movie!" "But we watched your superhero movie last night!"
And you know what's worse? When they discover that one of them has been secretly watching episodes ahead without the other. "You watched the finale without me? That's grounds for divorce!
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The honeymoon phase is great, isn't it? But then reality hits, and you're left with the "Honeymoon Hangover." It's like waking up after a wild party and realizing you have to clean up the mess. The bride and groom probably thought marriage was all about romantic getaways and candlelit dinners. Little did they know, it's also about taking out the trash and arguing over who forgot to buy toilet paper. I can imagine them coming back from the honeymoon all relaxed, only to find a sink full of dishes and a mountain of laundry waiting for them. And suddenly, the romantic serenades turn into, "Honey, can you pick up some milk on your way home?"
But you know what they say, if you can survive the Honeymoon Hangover, you can survive anything. So here's to the bride and groom – may your love be as enduring as your ability to compromise on pizza toppings!
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I was at this wedding, and during the vows, the groom promised to cherish, honor, and share his Wi-Fi password. Now, that's modern love, folks. Forget about promising to always do the dishes; the key to a happy marriage is a strong Wi-Fi connection. But seriously, the pressure to come up with unique vows must be intense. I can imagine the groom sweating bullets, trying to think of something profound while the bride just wants him to remember to take out the trash. And let's be honest, "I promise not to change the Wi-Fi password without warning" is probably more important than any of those traditional vows.
I wonder if they practiced their vows in front of a mirror. "I, John, take you, Jane, to be my lawful wedded Wi-Fi sharer, in sickness and in no Wi-Fi zones, till the battery of our devices do us part.
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