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What do you call the groom's friends who can't make it to the wedding? Absent groomsmen!
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Why was the bride so good at math? She knew how to budget for a 'sum'ptuous wedding!
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Why did the bride bring a pen to the wedding? To sign her life away – and the marriage certificate!
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Why did the bride and groom bring string to the wedding? They wanted to tie the knot, of course!
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Why did the groom bring a ladder to the wedding? He heard it was a high-profile event!
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The Bride and Groom's Wedding Registry – Turns out, they didn't register for a marriage counselor. Rookie mistake!
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The bride and groom decided to write their own vows. It got awkward when the groom's vows started sounding suspiciously like a grocery shopping list.
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The bride's advice for a happy marriage? 'Always say 'yes, dear' and invest in noise-canceling headphones.'
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I asked the bride if she believed in love at first sight. She said, 'Absolutely, that's why I had a second date!'
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The groom's best man was giving a speech and said, 'Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond, but by the end, you're looking for a club and a spade.'
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At the wedding, the groom told me he was on a seafood diet. He sees food, and he eats it. I thought, 'Well, that explains the all-you-can-eat buffet.'
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The bride looked stunning in her wedding dress. I asked her if it was love at first sight. She said, 'No, but the dress was!'
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I overheard the groom say, 'Marriage is like a roller coaster – thrilling at first, but you might lose your lunch along the way.' I guess that's one way to describe the honeymoon phase!
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During the vows, the groom promised to 'always be there to lift you up.' I guess he meant emotionally, but the bride's expression said she was hoping for more help with the laundry.
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