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Spanx are like the superhero costumes of the real world. You put them on, and suddenly you feel invincible, ready to conquer the day. Until it's time to use the restroom, and then you're like, "Houston, we have a problem!
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Spanx should come with a warning label: "May cause temporary shortness of breath and an increased appreciation for elastic waistbands." It's like cardio without leaving the dressing room.
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Spanx is the ultimate relationship test. If your significant other can handle the sound effects of you putting on and taking off Spanx, congratulations, you've found true love.
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Wearing Spanx is like having your own personal body GPS. It keeps you on the right path and prevents any unexpected detours into the land of love handles.
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Spanx is the modern corset. We've upgraded from fainting couches to fainting from laughter when we try to squeeze into these things.
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Spanx is like a security blanket for adults. It's that extra layer of protection that makes you feel safe and secure in a world full of unexpected bumps and lumps.
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You know you're getting old when your idea of a wild night out is taking off your Spanx and binge-watching a documentary about knitting. It's like, "Hold on, let me just release the Kraken of comfort.
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Spanx is the real-life Photoshop for your body. It's like, "Why work out when you can just suck it all in and pretend you did?
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Spanx is the unsung hero of the fashion world. It's the silent partner in every red carpet event, quietly keeping everything in check while celebrities strike a pose. It's like the ninja of shapewear.
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