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The Fitness Fanatic
Balancing the desire for a workout with the allure of instant abs.
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They say laughter is the best ab workout. Well, I wore Spanx to a comedy show, and now I have a six-pack from laughing and a six-pack from shapewear. Double the gains!
The Rebellion of the "Free Spirit
Resisting the pressure to conform to society's standards.
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Spanx wants to squeeze the life out of you, both metaphorically and literally. I tried it once, and I felt like a sausage being strangled. I've decided my muffin top is more of a cupcake rebellion.
The Confused Significant Other
Dealing with the mystery of how to navigate the uncharted territory of helping someone put on Spanx.
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Trying to assist someone in Spanx is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how to do it, but somehow, you just hope for the best and pretend it looks right in the end.
The Clueless Guy Trying to Buy Spanx as a Gift
Navigating the minefield of choosing the right size and style.
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If you think buying flowers is complicated, try buying Spanx. I left the store feeling like I just completed a covert mission, and I'm pretty sure the salesperson had a good laugh at my expense.
The Overly Optimistic Spanx Salesperson
Trying to convince customers that discomfort is the new comfort.
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Spanx is like a modern-day corset. It's not about breathing; it's about the illusion of a waistline. I wore it once, and my organs staged a protest – my stomach was picketing for better working conditions.
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