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The Self-Diagnosing Roommate
Roommate's self-proclaimed medical expertise versus the patient's doctor's advice
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I appreciate my roommate's concern, but I think they're confusing "supportive" with "playing doctor." I half expect them to whip out a stethoscope and suggest diagnosing the neighbor's cat next.
The Hospital Food Connoisseur
The patient's dissatisfaction with hospital food versus the nurse's attempt to make it sound gourmet
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Hospital food—where everything comes with a side of "You'll get used to it." Seriously, they should start a reality show called "Chopped: Hospital Edition," where the mystery basket contains three variations of gelatin.
The Confused Patient
The patient's haze of medication-induced confusion versus the doctor's serious instructions
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The meds after surgery had me floating in a realm between consciousness and a really bizarre dream. I'm fairly certain the doctor said, "Rest, ice, compression," but in my mind, it translated to "Hula dance, sacrifice a pineapple, summon a unicorn.
The Overprotective Family
Overbearing concern versus the patient's need for independence
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Post-surgery, my family's protective instincts kicked into overdrive. They're acting like I'm the last slice of pizza at a party—everyone wants to claim me before someone else snags me.
The Overly Optimistic Nurse
An optimistic nurse clashes with the patient's more realistic view
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Nurses are incredible, but sometimes their enthusiasm needs a reality check. Mine was like, "Think positive!" I'm positive my insurance will be sending me a bouquet of bills soon.
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