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Joke Types
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Why did the patient bring a suitcase to the hospital? They wanted to pack their own organs!
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Why did the scarecrow get admitted to the hospital? He was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the hospital patient become a gardener? They wanted to get a 'bed' of roses!
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Why did the hospital patient bring a ladder? They heard the food was up-and-down delicious!
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Why did the patient bring a camera to the hospital? They wanted to capture the 'picture-perfect' moment of feeling better!
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Why did the hospital patient become a chef? They wanted to 'stir up' some good health!
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Why did the patient carry a pencil to the hospital? In case they needed a 'write'-off on their medical bills!
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Why did the patient bring a calendar to the hospital? To keep track of their 'appointment' with good health!
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Why did the hospital patient start a band? They wanted to improve their 'heart' beat!
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Why did the patient bring a pillow to the hospital? For a 'soft' landing on the road to recovery!
Emergency Room Escapades
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You ever notice how hospital waiting rooms have the most outdated magazines? I was reading one from 2007 the other day. I thought I time-traveled until the nurse called my name. Turns out, it's not a time machine; it's just a waiting room.
The Real Housewives of Room 203
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Hospitals are like reality shows, but with less drama. Oh, wait, scratch that. I overheard two nurses arguing about whose turn it was to use the good thermometer. I didn't know they had a good one!
Medical Mysteries
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I asked the doctor about my mysterious ailment, and he said, It's a medical anomaly. I prefer to think of it as the VIP section of illnesses – exclusive, hard to get into, and comes with a hefty medical bill.
The Perils of Hospital Fashion
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Have you seen those hospital gowns? I think they're designed by someone with a vendetta against dignity. I felt like I was auditioning for a role in the world's worst superhero movie – Captain Breeze: The Exposed Avenger!
Napping in Style
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I tried taking a nap in the hospital, but the beeping machines had other plans. I felt like I was in a techno remix of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. My heart rate became the bass drop.
The Hospital Diet
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They say hospital food is bland for a reason – to make you appreciate home-cooked meals. I guess they want you to leave with a new appreciation for your kitchen. Or maybe they just want you to lose weight the expensive way.
Hospital Gourmet
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I was in the hospital cafeteria the other day, and they had a menu that claimed to offer gourmet options. Gourmet hospital food? That's like saying a clown does high-end balloon animals. Yes, sir, this IV drip pairs excellently with our Jell-O selection.
Doctor's Orders, Sort Of
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I visited a friend in the hospital, and he had this doctor with the worst handwriting. I asked him what medication he was on, and he said, I have no idea, but it looks like a prescription for disaster!
The Wheelchair Grand Prix
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I saw a group of elderly folks racing wheelchairs down the hospital hallways. I didn't know if it was a recreational activity or an escape plan. Either way, it was the most exciting thing I've seen in a hospital – like the Daytona 500 for the senior citizen set.
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