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The Seasick Shipwright
Building ships when you can't even sail without getting seasick.
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People ask me, "Why did you become a shipwright if you can't handle the sea?" Well, I wanted to conquer my fears. Now I'm conquering a seasickness that not even my ship can cure. Maybe I'll stick to building boats for the pond next time.
The Shipwright's Apprentice
Trying to impress the boss with minimal woodworking skills.
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I tried my hand at carving intricate designs on the ship. The boss came by and said, "That's not what I meant by a figurehead." I guess a wooden sculpture of Elvis isn't what sailors look for on the front of their ships.
The Romantic Shipwright
Trying to impress a date with shipbuilding skills.
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I thought a candlelit dinner on a ship under construction would be romantic. Turns out, she was more concerned about splinters than sweet nothings. Who knew shipwrighting wasn't the key to a woman's heart?
The Shipwright's Stand-up
Trying to make shipbuilding sound exciting on stage.
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I tried to make shipbuilding sound sexy. "You know what they say, big ships, big dreams!" Silence. I guess ship size isn't a universal turn-on. I'll stick to pirate jokes next time; everyone loves pirates.
The Paranoid Shipwright
Constantly worrying about the ship sinking even when it's safely docked.
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I built a ship, and it's sturdy as heck, but I can't trust the sea. I installed a panic room in every ship. You know, just in case the ocean decides to throw a surprise party with sharks. Safety first, paranoia a very close second.
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