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The Confused GPS Voice
Providing navigation in an overly complicated world
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I'm the voice that everyone ignores until they're lost in the middle of nowhere. I think I deserve more credit. Maybe they should add a button for "GPS Appreciation." "In 200 feet, press the 'Thank You' button to make your GPS feel loved.
The Cafeteria Chef
Cooking for picky eaters
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I've become an expert at deciphering cryptic food orders. "I'll have a sandwich with extra pickles, but not too many pickles, and make sure the pickles are evenly distributed. Oh, and can you cut the sandwich into a perfect equilateral triangle?" I feel like a food geometry professor.
The Paranormal Investigator Intern
Dealing with ghosts who are terrible at communication
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The scariest thing about being a paranormal investigator is not the ghosts; it's the lack of coffee in haunted houses. Imagine dealing with a ghostly apparition without your morning caffeine fix. Now that's a horror story.
The Social Media Intern
Navigating the world of hashtags and viral content
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I spend so much time on social media that I dream in hashtags. Last night, I dreamt I was #flyingwithunicorns. Not sure what that says about my mental state, but at least it would make a killer hashtag.
The Office Printer Repair Guy
Dealing with malfunctioning office printers
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I've started giving the printers at the office names. There's Priscilla, the drama queen who only works when she feels like it. And then there's Gary, the overachiever who prints three copies when you only asked for one. They're like my dysfunctional office family.
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