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Why did the math book attend the school assembly? It wanted to solve some problems!
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Now I'm a teacher, and I knead the dough at school assemblies!
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What do you call a fish who attends a school assembly? A well-bread flounder!
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Why did the scarecrow get invited to the school assembly? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the tomato turn red during the school assembly? Because it saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the student bring a pillow to the school assembly? Because he wanted to dream big!
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Why did the student bring a ladder to the school assembly? Because he heard it was a high-stakes event!
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Why did the broom get a standing ovation at the school assembly? Because it swept everyone off their feet!
School Assemblies: The Olympic Sport of Awkward Clapping
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Clapping in unison during assemblies was our version of the Olympics. Teachers would stand on the sidelines, judging us like, Oh, the synchronized clapping team from Chemistry really nailed it this time!
School Assemblies: The Birthplace of Conspiracy Theories
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I swear, during assemblies, the rumors spread faster than the flu in a kindergarten class. By the time we left, we thought the cafeteria mashed potatoes were actually alien eggs.
School Assemblies: The Super Bowl of Trying to Look Interested
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Trying to look interested during a boring assembly was an Olympic-level sport. If they gave out gold medals for pretending to care, I'd have a trophy case full of them.
School Assemblies: Where Whispers Echo Louder Than Speeches
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The speaker system in the assembly hall was so bad that even whispers sounded like stadium announcements. You'd try to pass a note discreetly, and suddenly the whole school knew your weekend plans.
School Assemblies: The Broadway Auditions We Never Asked For
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Assemblies were basically Broadway auditions for the drama department. You had kids passionately reading announcements like they were performing Shakespeare. I was just there hoping I wouldn't trip over the mic cord.
School Assemblies: The Only Time I Wished for Fire Drills
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You know it's bad when you're sitting in an assembly, praying for a fire drill just to break up the monotony. Oh no, not a real fire, just a drill, please!
School Assemblies: The Avengers of Awkward Silence
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Assemblies were like assembling the Avengers, except instead of saving the world, we were trying not to make eye contact and avoid the spotlight. Captain Awkward, assemble!
School Assemblies: The Real Hunger Games
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School assemblies were the closest thing we had to the Hunger Games. Everyone nervously eyeing the principal like, Is today the day we draw straws to see who has to give the opening speech?
School Assemblies: The Original Avengers Movie
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You remember those school assemblies? It's like they gathered all the teachers and students in one room and hoped for some superhero-level unity. I half-expected Iron Man to swoop in and announce a pop quiz.
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