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Promoted to Manager of Office Plant Watering Affairs
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Big news, guys! I got promoted. I'm now the Manager of Office Plant Watering Affairs. They said, You have a green thumb. Little do they know, my secret is just talking to the plants and saying, Please don't die on my watch. It's a whole new level of responsibility when your job involves keeping succulents succulent.
Promoted to Director of Desk Decoration
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I got promoted again! I'm now the Director of Desk Decoration. That's right, folks, my desk is the canvas, and I am the Picasso of office supplies! My specialty? The art of arranging pens in a visually appealing manner. My only regret is not having an acceptance speech ready for this prestigious award.
Promoted to Senior Pen Clicker
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You won't believe this! Got a promotion at work. I'm now the Senior Pen Clicker. That's right, I've mastered the art of annoying everyone within earshot. It's not just clicking pens; it's a symphony of distraction! My talent lies in making sure no one within a five-mile radius can concentrate.
Promoted to Chief Coffee Fetcher
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Got promoted at my job the other day. Yeah, they said, You've shown incredible potential. You're now the Chief Coffee Fetcher! Oh, the honor! I'm thinking of adding it to my resume: Master of Mugs, Bringer of Brews, and Lord of Lattes. If only I could get a promotion to the Executive Espresso Connoisseur!
Promoted to Executive Email Emoji Expert
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They promoted me! I'm now the Executive Email Emoji Expert. Yeah, they said, Your emoticon usage is unparalleled. I'm like the Shakespeare of smileys, the da Vinci of emojis! I've gone from typing emails to crafting emoticon masterpieces. Next step: decoding hieroglyphs.
Promoted to Supreme Staple Straightener
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Guess what? Got promoted! I'm now the Supreme Staple Straightener in our office. It's like being the superhero of straightening! Every crooked staple trembles at the sight of my precision. Who needs a cape when you've got a stapler in hand, right?
Promoted to Professional Procrastinator
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You ever get promoted at work, and you think, Wow, I must be doing something right! And then your boss says, Congratulations! You're now a professional procrastinator! I mean, I've been practicing for this my whole life. Finally, a job that matches my skill set! Now, I just need to get around to doing it.
Promoted to Chief Meeting Room Temperature Regulator
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So, I got promoted recently. I'm now the Chief Meeting Room Temperature Regulator. They said, Your ability to detect a one-degree change in room temperature is uncanny. I'm basically the thermostat whisperer! Forget job satisfaction; my happiness now depends on whether it's 71 or 72 degrees in the conference room.
Promoted to Head Paperclip Organizer
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So, I got promoted. Big day! I'm now the Head Paperclip Organizer. Yeah, it's a title that just screams 'authority,' right? I mean, I've moved up from staples to paperclips! You know you're going places when your biggest accomplishment of the day is finding a jumbo-sized paperclip. Living the dream, folks!
Promoted to Vice President of Post-it Note Placement
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Big day for me! Got promoted to Vice President of Post-it Note Placement. I've gone from random reminders to strategically positioning those little squares of paper. They call me the Post-it Picasso. My office door? It's a gallery of organized chaos. If only there were promotions for organizing thoughts!
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