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Joke Types
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What did the expectant mother say to her unborn child? 'You're kicking me smalls!
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Why do pregnant women always carry a pencil? In case they need to draw a line!
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Why did the pregnant cat sit on the computer? She wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
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Why did the baby corn ask the mama corn for advice? It wanted to know how to 'pop' just right!
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What did the dad-to-be say when he saw the ultrasound? 'Looks like we're expecting a 'dino-mite' baby!
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I asked my pregnant friend if she had a baby name yet. She said, 'Yes, but we're keeping it under wraps!
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I asked my pregnant wife if she wanted to go to the seafood restaurant. She replied, 'No way, I'm not 'roe'-ing the day!
Labor Pains Panic
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They say men can't fully understand the pain of labor. Well, I tried to get a taste of it by stubbing my toe, and let me tell you, I've never seen my wife laugh so hard in the midst of her contractions. I guess my pain tolerance needs some pregnancy upgrades.
Baby Kicks
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Feeling the baby kick for the first time is incredible. It's like having a tiny MMA fighter in there practicing roundhouse kicks. I'm just waiting for the baby to start throwing in some punches and maybe a couple of combos.
Dad Bod Training Camp
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People talk about getting a dad bod after having kids, but for me, it's more like a dad bod training camp. I'm lifting strollers, doing baby-carry squats, and mastering the art of the one-handed diaper change. I'm basically the dad version of a Marvel superhero.
Bun in the Oven
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You know, they say being pregnant is like having a bun in the oven. Well, my wife must have a whole bakery in there because every time she gets mad, I swear I can smell fresh bread.
Pregnancy Pillow Wars
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Pregnancy pillows are like the third wheel in our bed now. I've got to compete for space with this massive pillow that's apparently more comfortable than me. I'm starting to think it might be plotting to take my spot permanently.
Baby Name Battles
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Choosing a baby name is like negotiating a peace treaty. My wife wants something traditional, and I want something unique. We compromised and named the baby after our favorite pizza topping. Say hello to little Margherita!
Pregnancy Brain
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My wife's got that pregnancy brain, you know? The other day, she asked me to pick up some baby oil, and I came back with a diaper genie. I guess my brain's not fully cooked either.
The Belly as a Shelf
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Her pregnant belly is like a built-in shelf now. She's using it to rest her snacks while watching TV. It's like having a mini fridge that's also a foot warmer. Efficiency at its finest.
Cravings Chronicles
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Pregnancy cravings are no joke. My wife sends me on these midnight missions for the weirdest foods. Last night, it was pickles and ice cream. I felt like a secret agent on a mission from the baby aisle.
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