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Wearing a pearl necklace is like playing fashion Jenga. You think you've got it perfectly balanced, and then one wrong move, and it's all over the floor.
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I was at the jewelry store the other day, and the salesperson tried to sell me a pearl necklace. I said, "No thanks, last time I wore one, I looked more like a pirate than a trendsetter.
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Why do they call it a pearl necklace? Why not a bead chain or a gem garland? I feel like the marketing team missed an opportunity for some creative naming there.
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The thing about pearls is they're timeless. And by timeless, I mean every time I wear them, someone asks, "Are you attending a 1920s Gatsby party or just feeling particularly regal today?
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Pearls are like the glitter of the jewelry world. You wear them once, and suddenly you find a piece of it in your pasta three days later.
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You ever notice how getting a pearl necklace is either a high-class gift or a low-budget crime scene?
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Pearls are nature's way of saying, "I'm going to make this oyster uncomfortable until it produces something fabulous." It's like the original oyster therapy session.
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I tried making my own pearl necklace once. It turns out, hot glue and gumballs do not a classy accessory make. I ended up looking like I raided a preschool craft corner.
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I was helping my girlfriend untangle her necklace, and after ten minutes of delicate maneuvering, I thought, "This is just practice for when I have to untangle Christmas lights every year.
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