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Joke Types
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What's a pathological liar's favorite exercise? Stretching the truth – they're incredibly flexible!
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Why did the pathological liar become a gardener? Because they were great at planting stories!
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Why did the pathological liar become a chef? They loved cooking up stories with a dash of exaggeration!
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What do you call a pathological liar who can play a musical instrument? A fib-rato maestro!
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Why did the pathological liar take up painting? They heard it's a great way to brush over the truth!
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What did the pathological liar say when caught stealing from the calendar factory? 'I needed more time!
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Why did the pathological liar start a band? They wanted to spin more yarns and play some tall tunes!
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What's a pathological liar's favorite type of tree? The fictional tree – it grows the tallest tales!
Pathological Liars Anonymous
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You know, I tried joining a support group for pathological liars. Problem was, nobody believed anyone else's story, and we spent the whole time trying to one-up each other. It was like a competition for who could spin the wildest tale. I left when someone claimed they were abducted by aliens just to get out of doing the dishes.
Pathological Cooking Show
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I watched a cooking show hosted by a pathological liar. He claimed he could turn water into wine, and his signature dish was a unicorn steak with phoenix feather garnish. I tried replicating it at home, and let's just say my kitchen now resembles a crime scene from a failed mythical creature cooking experiment.
Pathological Exaggeration
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My friend's a pathological exaggerator. He told me he caught a fish so big it had its own gravitational pull. I asked for a picture; he showed me a selfie with a goldfish. I guess in his world, size really does depend on the size of the fisherman's imagination.
Pathological Weatherman
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I met a guy who claimed to be a pathological weatherman. He said he could predict the future, and the forecast was always sunny with a chance of unicorns. I asked him about the rain last week; he said it was tears from the sky because the clouds were sad. I think he's confusing weather forecasting with fairy tales.
Job Interview Confessions
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I recently interviewed a guy who admitted he's a pathological liar. I thought, well, at least he's honest about being dishonest. He told me he invented the question mark and once taught a giraffe to breakdance. Needless to say, he didn't get the job. But hey, I bet that giraffe's got some serious moves.
Pathological Resume
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I once received a resume that listed Pathological Liar under skills. I thought, well, at least they're upfront about it. The job description said they were looking for someone with a creative mindset. I guess if you can invent your entire work history, you're pretty creative.
World Records Gone Wild
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I heard of a guy who tried to set a world record for the most lies told in an hour. Unfortunately, the Guinness World Records committee couldn't verify any of his statements. He said he ran a marathon backward blindfolded while juggling flaming swords. Yeah, right. I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time.
Political Promises
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You know elections are around the corner when politicians start sounding like pathological liars. They promise to lower taxes, improve education, and bring about world peace—all while wearing a smile that says, I've got a bridge to sell you. I guess the only campaign promise I can believe is that they'll keep making promises.
Pathological GPS
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I have a friend who's a pathological liar. I let him be in charge of directions once, and let me tell you, we ended up in Narnia. He was like, Oh yeah, take a left at the wardrobe, and if Mr. Tumnus asks, we're on a secret mission from Aslan. I just wanted to go to the mall.
Dating Red Flags
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I went on a date with someone who admitted they were a pathological liar. I should've known it wasn't going to work out when they told me they invented gravity and that their pet hamster was a NASA-trained astronaut. Last I heard, the hamster is still up there, working on its PhD in astrophysics.
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