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Orion's Belt. I mean, who wears a belt made of stars? Imagine getting pulled over by a cosmic cop. "Do you know why I pulled you over? Your constellation was swerving through the galaxy.
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I tried impressing my date by pointing out Orion in the night sky. She wasn't impressed. Apparently, romantic stargazing loses its charm when you mistake the Big Dipper for a ladle.
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You ever get lost in thought and end up stargazing? Yeah, I was contemplating life, and then I looked up and thought, "Hmm, maybe I should ask Orion for directions. He seems to know his way around.
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I bet if we had a constellation for every embarrassing moment, the night sky would be a never-ending sitcom. "Oh, there's Sagittarius, the constellation of awkward first dates and tripping in public.
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I wonder if astronomers ever argue about who has the cooler constellation. "Ursa Major is cool, but have you seen the swag on Orion? He's got a whole belt going on.
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You ever notice how naming constellations is like playing celestial connect the dots? "Oh look, it's Orion! No, wait, it's just a random assortment of stars. My bad.
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Speaking of Orion, why do we always name these star patterns after mythological figures? I mean, what if aliens are up there looking down at us, and they're like, "Oh, there's the human constellation! It looks just like someone trying to parallel park.
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Orion's got a bow and arrow, right? I guess even ancient hunters needed intergalactic Cupid to spice up their love lives. "Alright, tonight I'm going hunting for both deer and a date.
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Can we talk about how ancient civilizations came up with these constellations? I bet they were just sitting around one night, playing cosmic Pictionary, and someone shouted, "It's a hunter!" And boom, Orion was born.
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