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Joke Types
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Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to the bottom of things!
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I used to play piano on the toilet, but it was just for the sheet music!
Toilet Roll Resilience
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You know you're an adult when the biggest dilemma in your life is whether the toilet paper should go over or under. I swear, it's a decision more divisive than politics. I went to therapy for this once. The therapist said, How do you feel about the roll? I said, I feel like it should mind its own business and do its job!
Bathroom Reading Roulette
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Choosing reading material for the bathroom is a risky game. You go in with a magazine, and suddenly it's become the most interesting article you've ever read. Next thing you know, you're late for work because you got caught up in an in-depth analysis of celebrity cat fashion. Sorry, boss, blame it on the literary allure of the loo.
Plumbing Predicaments
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You ever had that moment when the toilet flushes with a little too much enthusiasm? It's like it's auditioning for a role in a water fountain. I call it the surprise bidet feature. My bathroom floor has experienced more unexpected showers than a tropical rainforest.
Toilet Paper IQ Test
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The intelligence of a person is directly proportional to how they replace the toilet paper roll. If you put it on backward, you might as well be applying to MENSA because clearly, you're a genius. Or maybe just a rebel with a disregard for basic societal norms. Take that, bathroom etiquette!
Late-Night Toilet Tango
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Late-night bathroom trips are like navigating a minefield. You're trying to tiptoe through the dark, avoiding the creaky floorboards, but no matter what, you always manage to knock over the shampoo bottles like a suburban ninja. It's a dance of desperation, and the soundtrack is the muffled groans of a disgruntled spouse.
Toilet Yoga Yikes
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Ever drop your phone in the toilet? It's the modern-day tragedy. You contemplate your life choices as you perform toilet yoga, contorting your body into positions you didn't think were humanly possible to retrieve your precious device. And if it survives, you treat it like a war hero returning home: You've been through a lot, buddy.
Toilet Tech Trauma
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Toilet technology is evolving, and I'm just here trying to figure out why my toilet has a remote control. I feel like I'm piloting a spaceship instead of taking care of business. Houston, we have a problem. I repeat, we have a blockage in Sector 7. Deploy the flush sequence!
Toilet Texting Tactics
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I've become a master of multitasking in the bathroom. I've perfected the art of texting with one hand while handling business with the other. It's like I'm the conductor of a very strange and unsanitary orchestra. And let's be honest, emojis have never been more expressive than when you're using them to mask the pain of a particularly spicy burrito.
Toilet Wisdom
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There's a peculiar kind of wisdom that comes to you on the porcelain throne. It's like the bathroom is a portal to enlightenment. I've solved world problems, discovered the meaning of life, and then promptly forgot it all as soon as I flushed. It's the ultimate brain dump, literally.
On the Toilet Troubles
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You ever notice how the bathroom is the only place where time becomes irrelevant? You sit down, and suddenly it's like you've entered a time warp. I call it the quantum poop theory. It's like, am I in there for five minutes or five hours? I don't know, but my legs have definitely fallen asleep, and I've written a novel in my head.
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