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Overly Thorough Medical Websites
Googling symptoms and ending up with wild diagnoses
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I googled 'mild chest pain,' and the internet told me I had two days to live. I panicked and went to the doctor. Turns out I just needed to burp. Thanks, WebMD, for the near-death experience.
Waiting Room Woes
The eternal wait in the doctor's waiting room
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I saw a spider knitting a web in the corner. I thought, 'Great, now even the spiders are waiting for their turn to be examined.' It asked me for my insurance information before scurrying away.
Hospital Food Horrors
Surviving on hospital food
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I asked the nurse what's for dinner, and she said it's a surprise. It was a mystery meat casserole. I asked her what kind of meat, and she said, 'The mysterious kind.'
Doctor's Handwriting Mysteries
Deciphering a doctor's handwriting
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I thought my doctor was writing me a prescription, but it turns out he was just doodling. I went to the pharmacy, and the pharmacist said, 'Congratulations, you're the proud owner of a signed, one-of-a-kind artwork.'
Doctor's Office Magazines
Boredom induced by outdated magazines in the doctor's office
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The magazines in the doctor's office are so outdated; there was one about predicting the future with palm reading. I thought, 'Maybe they predicted I'd be stuck reading this nonsense today.'
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